


Acclimation

by 24_centuries



Category: Dogma (1999)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/24_centuries/pseuds/24_centuries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Kayim for Yuletide 2007</p>
    </blockquote>





	Acclimation

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kayim for Yuletide 2007

"All I'm saying is I think it would be a good idea." Loki concluded, as a huge grin lit up his face.

"Yeah, well, you also thought it was a good idea to side with the Sauk during the Black Hawk War so I'm not listening to anything you have to say." Bartleby countered.

"Hey! That wasn't my fault! We just ..."

"Yeah. Just. It's a good thing I got us out of there or we would have been 'slaughtered' along with the others!"

"Did you - did you just do air quotes?" Loki barely got the sentence out before he burst into laughter. "Air quotes!"

Bartleby glared at Loki's doubled-over form. He failed to see the humor in the situation and he planned to inform Loki of that, if only he could get him to stop laughing. Bartleby refused to speak over Loki's boisterous laughter, especially when Loki was laughing at his expense.

Loki's laughter tapered off, and Bartleby kept his face blank as Loki stood upright. One look at Bartleby's face, however, set him off and he had to grab onto Bartleby's shoulder just to keep from doubling-over all over again.

A young man - a college senior, flying two-thousand miles to propose to his girlfriend of three years and still recovering from the pre-bachelor party his friends had thrown him the night before - stared at the two of them as he approached, wondering why "fags always have to flaunt it," as very explicit prison-sex-scene images bombarded his mind.

"Once again, your penchant for using me as a leaning post has yet another person thinking we're gay. I hope you're happy. I doubt he is, if the images that just assaulted his --" Bartleby cut himself off as the man started blushing. "Oh. Well, maybe he is happy ..."

Loki's laughter tapered off as his natural curiosity took over.

"Why? What'd you see?"

"Now, now. Nothing that a child such as yourself should see. Or even know about."

"That good, huh? Never understand why humans want that sort of - anyway! Back to the matter at hand."

Bartleby sighed and walked over to another arrival gate. He always spent time at both the arrival and departure gates when he came to the airport, but when Loki was with him, he preferred to stick with the arrivals. Nothing kept the two of them entertained as much as Loki trying to pick out the Wicked while Bartleby either confirmed or denied his suspicions - something Loki had deemed the Guessing Game. Very original, Loki.

Bartleby never admitted it, but Loki was still scarily apt at picking out commandment-breakers.

"Look," Bartleby began as they took their seats, "I know it's something that you've been just dying to do, but it's not like you need me there. I don't see why you can't just do it on your own."

This thought seemed to appall Loki, if his saucer-eyes were any indication.

"Alone! Are you fucking crazy?! Why would I go alone when I have you?"

"I'm not a puppy, Loki. You can't just drag me anywhere you desire."

"I know! I'm just saying - who wouldn't want to go?"

"Uhh, me. I wouldn't want to go. Which is why I suggested you go on your own."

"Yeah, but that's just stupid. We've never done anything separately since we've been stuck in this godforsaken place!"

"Do you ever pay attention to what you say? Or do you just open your mouth and hope that something comes out that actually makes sense?"

"What?"

"Of course we do things alone. I either come to the airport or go to the library every day and you rarely join me. You sit at home and watch your cartoons and then your stupid talk shows and just wait for me to come home."

"Yeah, but that's different. You come here and you sit and you get to listen in on everyone's thoughts. If you don't feel up to playing the Guessing Game, then I have to just sit here and watch the Wicked as they amble about. Do you know how useless I feel not being able to smite each and every one of them in His name, thanks to you?"

Bartleby sighed. It was a rare day that Loki didn't mention the fact that their exile was the result of Bartleby's bad advice. After the first few centuries, Bartleby had resigned himself to simply dealing with it. Loki, in turn, had stopped referring to it every hour on the hour and usually limited himself to one mention per day.

Bartleby was glad that day's acknowledgment was over before lunch. It was particularly annoying to be waiting for Loki to bring it up while also having to listen to hundreds of people drone on and on about what they were going to order for lunch. Could it really be that difficult to choose between a hamburger and a chicken sandwich?

"When do you want to go?"

Deflection, Bartleby had found, was always the easiest way to get Loki to forget about their expulsion. For a little while, at least.

"Really? You'll go?" Loki practically bounced in his seat as he stared rapturously at Bartleby. "It's going to be so fucking cool, man! They let two people go at once and all so we can go together! I was watching this thing on TV and it was just so cool!"

Bartleby let Loki ramble on as he reminded himself that he was partly to blame for this reaction. Loki had always been a bit more immature than Bartleby, quicker both to laughter and anger. But Bartleby really liked that about him. It was a welcomed change from the people he had been used to hanging around with - the other Grigoris - and Bartleby had been instantly drawn to him.

Of course, it didn't hurt that being friends with the Angel of Death turned out to be the coolest thing Bartleby had ever experienced. Not that he'd ever gush like Loki did, but watching Loki work was a thing of beauty. Bartleby was usually conflicted because he truly did feel for the humans. He understood that it was Loki's responsibility to take care of certain things for God, but that didn't mean he always liked it.

However, in the actual moment when Loki would strike down the Wicked - whether en masse, or just an individual offender - Bartleby was literally transfixed. He usually made sure he kept a book with him at all times, so if Loki looked over at him, all he would see was Bartleby reading. However, what Bartleby was almost always doing - unless he was hiding his eyes from Loki - was watching Loki.

Loki's entire demeanor would change when he was punishing the Wicked. His eyes narrowed, his body became taut and alert, and he exuded every ounce of power that he possessed. Loki was the only Angel who made Bartleby wish that he could read the thoughts of Angels as well. He would love to know what went through Loki's brain during those moments.

That watchful gaze made Bartleby feel as if he understood that odd look humans would get when they were around someone for whom they particularly cared.

He knew that their friendship was viewed as odd and unnatural by the other Angels, as mingling among different choirs wasn't always smiled upon. However, it just felt right being around Loki.

Since they had been down here, Bartleby had often found himself thanking God - as odd as that sometimes seemed - that if he had to be stuck down here with anyone, it was Loki. He did enjoy his time away from Loki, but every day as he rode the bus back toward their apartment, he felt a sense of ... something as he got closer and closer.

It was probably the same thing that made Loki beam at him every time he walked into the apartment. Whatever it was, it helped make eternity stuck in Wisconsin easier to deal with. Eternity with Loki was actually quite enjoyable, aside from the ache and pain of not being allowed in His presence - which, while considerable, somehow seemed to lessen each time Loki and he laughed together in their apartment, closed off from every other being on Earth.

"Bartleby!" Loki shouted, right in his face. His mouth was close enough to kiss, and Bartleby moved back a little and shook his head to clear such a "human" thought from his mind.

"You don't have to yell, you know. I'm right here." Bartleby ignored all the stares that Loki's explosion had caused. Loki, as usual, didn't even notice.

"Yeah, except I've been talking to you for at least five minutes, but you've been caught up in whatever juicy thoughts you've been reading that kept you from paying attention to me."

Crossed arms. Head turned away. Those were never good signs. With Loki's immaturity came a great deal of petulance. Bartleby knew that if he didn't smooth things over, he'd get the cold shoulder for the rest of the day.

"I was just picturing the two of us para-sailing and plummeting to our deaths. Or whatever would happen to us if we were in a situation where a human would die."

"You were thinking about para-sailing?" Loki beamed at Bartleby and he knew he was off the hook.

"Yeah. I guess it wouldn't be too bad. As long as we can't die, that is. If we can, I hope your hell is filled with a giant TV that plays nothing but CNN."

Silence. A stony face met his as he turned toward Loki.

"That's not even funny."

"Not even a little?" Bartleby grinned as Loki pulled a face.

"I can't even imagine. But anyway! Para-sailing! I looked up some places in the phone book and called around. Pete of Pete's Para-Sailing seemed to have the most experience and he was one of the few not to have a pending lawsuit, which you know, I figured was good."

"Lawsuits meaning people were either hurt or killed and are now seeking compensation?"

"Yeah. So we can go tomorrow, right? No time like the now, or whatever."

Loki's face, aglow with joy, would have made Bartleby say yes even if Loki had been asking him to go and replace Gabriel's wine with regular grape juice. Not that it mattered anymore - Loki and Bartleby had heard God's booming decree, prohibiting any of the Angels to ever drink alcohol again.

They were probably safer down here, as Gabriel had been quite the lush.

"You're doing it again." Loki broke into Bartleby's thoughts with an annoyed tone.

"Sorry. Yeah, we can go tomorrow. You plan out the bus route yet?"

Loki started in on yet another rant regarding the bus schedules and how the bus company made it impossible for anyone to decode its secret language.

Bartleby would be listening to this rant for the rest of the night, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever Yuletide story. Can't believe E edited the first one and is still doing the dastardly job all these years later! : D Beta Extraordinnaire!


End file.
